#4 Mad men.

British advertising just isn't as good as Madison Avenue's finest. Often it is the charming bluntness, like the huge billboards for '$399 DIVORCE'. It is advertising unfettered by British reserve.

The Staten Island ferry, my commuter vehicle de rigeur, is festooned with ads for the Staten Island Radiology Oncology Center, the main selling point being that they are based on the island you're heading to. Why travel for an hour or two to get your potentially fatal illness treated, when you can hop straight off the ferry into a clinic? 'Why' indeed.

Of course, the Staten Island Radiology Oncology Center are wasting half their money, since the afflicted travelling towards Manhattan also see the ads. Presumably they walk right into the convenient, welcoming arms of Manhattan's oncology doctors. And die.

Often the highlight is just the phone number. A low-budget criminal defense firm currently advertises on the Subway. Anyone who has ever watched any American TV knows you have the right to one phone call upon arrest. Shouldn't yours be to 1-800-INNOCENT?